It's been a few days since the bar exam (almost a week actually), and I have not written about it yet. There has been a lot going on since then. I did write something on Wednesady night, but I did not have internet access at the time. So, here, below, are my first thoughts about the bar exam the first time I had a chance to sit and contemplate it for a few moments:
I am writing this at 1:30 on Wednesday night after the bar exam. Julie and I left Tampa as soon as the exam was over so we could go to church and then we came home. We just watched a movie and Julie went to sleep, so I came into the living room to take care of some stuff. I looked around the apartment and saw some boxes piling up, my backpack on the floor and realized I don’t have anything to do. And I don’t know how to deal with that. The bar exam is the pinnacle of what I have been preparing for. The entire arc of my educational life has pointed to the last two days. I’ve always known I would have to take the bar exam. But I only began to understand what it was about last summer when my friends, the people who went all the way through law school with me, were preparing for the exam. I would run into people on campus and hear about it from them. I would call friends to check on them and hear about it from them, as well. I really heard about it after the exam was over. Then I went to the LLM program and most of my classmates at UF had taken the bar exam. Although it wasn’t my top priority, it was pretty close to the forefront of my thoughts throughout the school year. Then for the last 7-8 weeks, the bar exam has consumed me. If I was awake, I was thinking about it. If was going to bed, I was thinking about it. If I was asleep, I was dreaming about it. Get the point? The bar exam has been my life. And now it is over. I just spent almost two hours watching a move and I don’t feel guilty. I’m not worried about what I’m going to cover tomorrow when I study. And I feel lost to an extent. Which leads to the longest wait of my life. Until the scores are released, I won’t truly know how I did the last two days. And it is possible I will have to do this whole process again in January and February. I have friends who are smart and generally hard workers who had to take the exam a second time. So I am certainly not taking anything for granted. But in the meantime, there are other things to do. We’ve got to get this apartment packed up so I can move home to Miami. I have to finish my paper for the LLM. I have to find a job. And that is one of the great things about life: it goes on. When you go through a major change, it will bring you some great surprises if you let. When you reach one pinnacle, a new pinnacle will appear with new challenges. You can’t allow these changes to slow you down. You have to be ready to embrace the new challenges rather than be paralyzed by fear or emptiness. So I am looking forward to finding out what is next, even though I don’t know what it is. But not right away. I think I will enjoy the liberation, for a few days at least. My mind and my body both need some much needed rest. Life will resume soon enough. But in the meantime, I am still contemplating the last year. It has been interesting. There are a lot of things about the last year I am going to miss. I am a very sentimental person and can get quite melancholy about sometimes. I may even write about it some.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Monday, July 24, 2006
'Twas the night before...
Well, it's here. I'm in Tampa for the bar exam. Hard to believe it is already here. I drove down yesterday afternoon and it rained on me off and on the whole way. I hope that is not a prophetic metaphor for how the next two days are going to go. The time has gone by really fast. I did my first set of practice questions back on June 6 and I was listening to lectures before that. Somehow it is already July 24th. I tell you what, Christmas never comes this fast. I am just praying I don't end up with a lump of coal tomorrow.
But it is here and there is nothing else I can do. I just have to take what comes, do my best and hope it turns out well. My mind is about ready to burst. When it does, it is going to be like a broken dam and all kinds of information is going to come tumbling out. When it does, I just hope it all comes out at the right time and in the right order. And for good measure, I hope the right bucket of water is up there in the first place.
This process has been easier because of all my family and friends. There have been so many words of encouragement and expressions of confidence in my ability. I am grateful for the positive attitudes. At this point, I as afraid of letting them down as I am myself.
But now it is bed time. I was feeling a little giddy earlier. I love Christas and can never sleep on Christmas Eve. Julie just said, "tomorrow's not Christmas....you have to sleep tonight." She's right and I hope I can. (By the way...it just occurred to me...how ironic that today is the 24th and the exam is on the 25th.) So I am going to go now and get some shut eye so I can get this thing over with and hopefully get on with my life.
But it is here and there is nothing else I can do. I just have to take what comes, do my best and hope it turns out well. My mind is about ready to burst. When it does, it is going to be like a broken dam and all kinds of information is going to come tumbling out. When it does, I just hope it all comes out at the right time and in the right order. And for good measure, I hope the right bucket of water is up there in the first place.
This process has been easier because of all my family and friends. There have been so many words of encouragement and expressions of confidence in my ability. I am grateful for the positive attitudes. At this point, I as afraid of letting them down as I am myself.
But now it is bed time. I was feeling a little giddy earlier. I love Christas and can never sleep on Christmas Eve. Julie just said, "tomorrow's not Christmas....you have to sleep tonight." She's right and I hope I can. (By the way...it just occurred to me...how ironic that today is the 24th and the exam is on the 25th.) So I am going to go now and get some shut eye so I can get this thing over with and hopefully get on with my life.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Too tired for a creative title
The bar exam continues to creep closer and closer. And frankly, I don't care anymore. I don't care what the difference between and executed license and an easement is. I don't care what the difference between the Priviliges and Immunities Clause of Article IV and the Privileges and Immunities clause of the 14th Amendment is. I don't care if you are a licensee or a business invitee. Just leave me alone. (Sorry for all the legal lingo...I don't care for it any more than you do.)
The fact is, I am mentally exhausted. This is all consuming and it wears you down after a while. You get to the point where thinkgs are jsut swimming in your head and you hope it will come tumbling out in ther right order during the exam. The funny thing is, I've heard people say you just don't understand it until you've been through it yourself. I scoffed at the notion, but I'll be right there with them from now on saying the same thing. I am convinced that the bar exam is jut a form of legalized hazing. It's all just part of the process to become part of the fraternity. [To the Board of Bar Examniers: I'm just kidding. I understand that the bar exam is for the protection of the fine citizens of the state of Florida so they don't get screwed by unscrupulous people who don't know what they are doing. ;)]
Even though I have been consumed with the bar exam, I am still conscious of the fact that my time in Gainesville is quicly coming to a close. As I've said before, there are many things about this town and time in my life that I am going to miss.
One of the things I am going to miss is this beautiful girl:
She has been wandering around my neighborhood most of the time I've lived here. I'm pretty sure she "belongs" to a house a few doors down. But the guy hardly takes care of her. I'm pretty sure she is a pit bull, or at least a mix with some pit bull. I was cautious of her at first becuase of that, but she is very friendly and well mannered. I began giving here treats when I would come home. I would see her for a few days, then whe would disappear and then reappear at her time and choosing. My landlord does not allow pets, so my cat Emma was not allowed to come with me, even though we had planned on her staying with me. So this is the closest thing I've had to having a pet this year. I have enjoyed it. I am going to miss "my puppy."
The fact is, I am mentally exhausted. This is all consuming and it wears you down after a while. You get to the point where thinkgs are jsut swimming in your head and you hope it will come tumbling out in ther right order during the exam. The funny thing is, I've heard people say you just don't understand it until you've been through it yourself. I scoffed at the notion, but I'll be right there with them from now on saying the same thing. I am convinced that the bar exam is jut a form of legalized hazing. It's all just part of the process to become part of the fraternity. [To the Board of Bar Examniers: I'm just kidding. I understand that the bar exam is for the protection of the fine citizens of the state of Florida so they don't get screwed by unscrupulous people who don't know what they are doing. ;)]
Even though I have been consumed with the bar exam, I am still conscious of the fact that my time in Gainesville is quicly coming to a close. As I've said before, there are many things about this town and time in my life that I am going to miss.
One of the things I am going to miss is this beautiful girl:
She has been wandering around my neighborhood most of the time I've lived here. I'm pretty sure she "belongs" to a house a few doors down. But the guy hardly takes care of her. I'm pretty sure she is a pit bull, or at least a mix with some pit bull. I was cautious of her at first becuase of that, but she is very friendly and well mannered. I began giving here treats when I would come home. I would see her for a few days, then whe would disappear and then reappear at her time and choosing. My landlord does not allow pets, so my cat Emma was not allowed to come with me, even though we had planned on her staying with me. So this is the closest thing I've had to having a pet this year. I have enjoyed it. I am going to miss "my puppy."
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Scrambled Eggs
I told you yesterday my mind is muddled. Well even I'm not sure the extent I've mushed things up in the old noggin.
Remember those cheesy commercials from the 80's that showed an egg and said "this is your brain" then showed an egg frying in a skillet and said "this is your brain on drugs"? Well, I think they should show one at orientation at law schools. It would start out like the old drug commercial. But after showing the egg, the next seen would be a shot of a mixing bowl with hand vigorously beating some eggs with stuff flying everywhere and the voieover would say "this is your brain on the bar exam."
Recent Examples:
This morning as I was leaving the house, I discovered I had not locked the door or the deadblt before I went to bed last night. The really sad part is that is the second time that has happened in a week.
Also, while trying to leave the house this morning, I had to get out of the car, unlock the front door and retrieve something that I had forgotten. Not once but twice. The really sad part is that the object I retrievd on the second return trip into the house had been on my mind as I headed back into the house the first time, yet it still slipped my mind as I was trying to remember which key unlocks the front door.
Last week I called my mother and asked if they had returned home from a trip to Albuquerque. They had been back at least a week. It's not that we had not talked during that time. The sad part is I had talked to my mother that week, but I simply thought the phone call where she told me she was in Albuquerque had just happened a couple of days prior.
I have a feeling that the final scene of the law school PSA I proposed would be a pan full of dried out, burned scrambled eggs with the voiceover stating "this is your brain after the bar exam." But since I have not experienced yet, I'll reserve judgment. Who knows, it could even be worse than I imagine.
Remember those cheesy commercials from the 80's that showed an egg and said "this is your brain" then showed an egg frying in a skillet and said "this is your brain on drugs"? Well, I think they should show one at orientation at law schools. It would start out like the old drug commercial. But after showing the egg, the next seen would be a shot of a mixing bowl with hand vigorously beating some eggs with stuff flying everywhere and the voieover would say "this is your brain on the bar exam."
Recent Examples:
This morning as I was leaving the house, I discovered I had not locked the door or the deadblt before I went to bed last night. The really sad part is that is the second time that has happened in a week.
Also, while trying to leave the house this morning, I had to get out of the car, unlock the front door and retrieve something that I had forgotten. Not once but twice. The really sad part is that the object I retrievd on the second return trip into the house had been on my mind as I headed back into the house the first time, yet it still slipped my mind as I was trying to remember which key unlocks the front door.
Last week I called my mother and asked if they had returned home from a trip to Albuquerque. They had been back at least a week. It's not that we had not talked during that time. The sad part is I had talked to my mother that week, but I simply thought the phone call where she told me she was in Albuquerque had just happened a couple of days prior.
I have a feeling that the final scene of the law school PSA I proposed would be a pan full of dried out, burned scrambled eggs with the voiceover stating "this is your brain after the bar exam." But since I have not experienced yet, I'll reserve judgment. Who knows, it could even be worse than I imagine.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
Good News:
I'm not sick. Whatever nastiness I had in my sinuses was gone by Saturday. Don't know what caused it. Don't care. I'm just glad it's gone.
Bad News:
Thursday was by far me best day for bar exam practice questions. My percentage was through the roof. However, it dropped precipitously on Friday and Saturday. It has since come back to normal, but I was not a happy camper this weekend and was in a foul mood. Almost foul enough to want to be sick still so I could do better on the questions.
Ugly News:
The exam is one week from today. Where did the time go? Didn't I just write something about 40 days? I can't believe it is already here (almost). On the other hand, I'm about to go crazy. My mind is pretty muddled and I need some time off.
I'm not sick. Whatever nastiness I had in my sinuses was gone by Saturday. Don't know what caused it. Don't care. I'm just glad it's gone.
Bad News:
Thursday was by far me best day for bar exam practice questions. My percentage was through the roof. However, it dropped precipitously on Friday and Saturday. It has since come back to normal, but I was not a happy camper this weekend and was in a foul mood. Almost foul enough to want to be sick still so I could do better on the questions.
Ugly News:
The exam is one week from today. Where did the time go? Didn't I just write something about 40 days? I can't believe it is already here (almost). On the other hand, I'm about to go crazy. My mind is pretty muddled and I need some time off.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Why Now?
My load was lighter this morning. Certainly in a literal sense. For the past few days, I've been carrying my backpack full of books: the Internal Revenue Code, 3 volumes of Income Tax Regulations, a textbook, etc. on top of my computer bag. But this morning, there was almost a bounce in my step as I only had the computer bag on my way into the library.
My load was also figuratively lighter. I certainly don't want to downplay the bar exam becuase it's importance is beyond measure. But having that last class and exam off my plate allow me to focus more narrowly now.
In light of that, I had a not fun discovery as I got into the shower this morning. My nose was running, there was slight tingle in my nose causing numerous sneezes, and I felt some congestion in my sinuses. I was not happy with this discovery. Could I realy be getting a cold? In the middle of July? I guess it could be allergies, but that does not make sense. It rained pretty hard yesterday which usually knocks allergents down, not stirs them up. So I am pretty sure I have a cold, or the beginnigs of one.
This is bad. It makes studying a more unpleasant experience. But it is worse because of the prospect of how long it will last. I've never been able to shake colds very quickly and symptoms seem to persist for quite some time. With the bar exam less than two weeks away, I'm wondering if I'll still be dealing with this then. First, it is bad because having your head bent over an exam sheet for 12 hours is not very comfortable when snot is trying to run out your nose. Second, I don't really enjoy the thought of 3,000+ bar applicants staring at me as I sniffle through the bar exam. (I'm not even going to entertain the thought of sneezing through the exam.)
So I am hoping that this unpleasantness will only last a day or two. Though the symptoms have been with me most of the day, they are not as bad as this morning. Let's just pray that today was an anomaly.
My load was also figuratively lighter. I certainly don't want to downplay the bar exam becuase it's importance is beyond measure. But having that last class and exam off my plate allow me to focus more narrowly now.
In light of that, I had a not fun discovery as I got into the shower this morning. My nose was running, there was slight tingle in my nose causing numerous sneezes, and I felt some congestion in my sinuses. I was not happy with this discovery. Could I realy be getting a cold? In the middle of July? I guess it could be allergies, but that does not make sense. It rained pretty hard yesterday which usually knocks allergents down, not stirs them up. So I am pretty sure I have a cold, or the beginnigs of one.
This is bad. It makes studying a more unpleasant experience. But it is worse because of the prospect of how long it will last. I've never been able to shake colds very quickly and symptoms seem to persist for quite some time. With the bar exam less than two weeks away, I'm wondering if I'll still be dealing with this then. First, it is bad because having your head bent over an exam sheet for 12 hours is not very comfortable when snot is trying to run out your nose. Second, I don't really enjoy the thought of 3,000+ bar applicants staring at me as I sniffle through the bar exam. (I'm not even going to entertain the thought of sneezing through the exam.)
So I am hoping that this unpleasantness will only last a day or two. Though the symptoms have been with me most of the day, they are not as bad as this morning. Let's just pray that today was an anomaly.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
No more pencils, no more books...
Well, not quite. But I did have my LAST final exam today. Pretty straightforward, no real curve balls. Which is good. I would like to go out on a high note. But this morning, I was so over it, I just wanted to pass. But I feel OK about it. We'll see in a few weeks I guess.
This will probably make me sound old, but times sure have changed. There were two exam rooms, one for people handwriting the exam and one for people typing their exams on their latops. I was in the handwritten room. Let's just say there was more than enough room. Over half the class was in the other room. Even I spent the last half of the semester typing my notes during class just to save the extra time my normal routine of taking written notes then typing them later. But I think today was good exercise for me. I wrote 20 pages of material. Hopefully that will keep me sharp for the essay portion of the bar exam.
But there is no rest for the weary. I'm going to decompress for a little bit, then it is right back to the bar exam. Time for the final push. The exam is two weeks from yesterday, so I have just under two weeks left. Then I have to finish a paper before this program is officially over. THEN I get to rest...after jury duty which is after a family wedding which is after I move. So I guess life never really stops, huh?
Life may not stop, but it is certainly going to be different. I still haven't figured out how to handle the no school thing. It's just part of my blood. And now that I am about to be done, Julie's about to start up. She needs to start working on her Master's in education. Will there EVER be a time when one of us is not in school? Between all the degrees and letters we are going to have, one might think we are a pretty smart couple. But I'm no so sure about that. If we were smart, we wouldn't be spending so much time in school and we'd spend more time together. I'm hoping her Master's program will be a little less intense than the J.D./L.L.M. since she won't be full time.
Oh well, the Merry Go Round just keeps on spinning and we just keep trying to grab that brass ring. Might as well enjoy the ride.
This will probably make me sound old, but times sure have changed. There were two exam rooms, one for people handwriting the exam and one for people typing their exams on their latops. I was in the handwritten room. Let's just say there was more than enough room. Over half the class was in the other room. Even I spent the last half of the semester typing my notes during class just to save the extra time my normal routine of taking written notes then typing them later. But I think today was good exercise for me. I wrote 20 pages of material. Hopefully that will keep me sharp for the essay portion of the bar exam.
But there is no rest for the weary. I'm going to decompress for a little bit, then it is right back to the bar exam. Time for the final push. The exam is two weeks from yesterday, so I have just under two weeks left. Then I have to finish a paper before this program is officially over. THEN I get to rest...after jury duty which is after a family wedding which is after I move. So I guess life never really stops, huh?
Life may not stop, but it is certainly going to be different. I still haven't figured out how to handle the no school thing. It's just part of my blood. And now that I am about to be done, Julie's about to start up. She needs to start working on her Master's in education. Will there EVER be a time when one of us is not in school? Between all the degrees and letters we are going to have, one might think we are a pretty smart couple. But I'm no so sure about that. If we were smart, we wouldn't be spending so much time in school and we'd spend more time together. I'm hoping her Master's program will be a little less intense than the J.D./L.L.M. since she won't be full time.
Oh well, the Merry Go Round just keeps on spinning and we just keep trying to grab that brass ring. Might as well enjoy the ride.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Did they buy tickets?
Southwest Airlines is experimenting with assigned seating to see if they can turn their planes around as fast as they normally do. Today was the first day of the experiment and results were mixed. Some people didn't like it. We fly Southwest all the time and will continue to do so regardless of how they board as long as they are so cheap. Of course, I would be upset if they did not accomodate us and let us sit together as the article says happened to some passenger. I'm sure that kink will get worked out by the end of the day.
But what caught my attention was the article said there were about two dozen reporters and photographers were at the gating chronicling the event. Am I the only one bothered by this? I'm not bothered if they had to buy tickets. But there should not be a media exception to who gets back into the gate area at an airport. If I can't greet my family at the gate when they arrive on a flight, some photographer should not be allowed back just because an airline is considering a change to its business model. This probably seems like a strange thing to worry about, but what can I say, I'm picky and principled.
But what caught my attention was the article said there were about two dozen reporters and photographers were at the gating chronicling the event. Am I the only one bothered by this? I'm not bothered if they had to buy tickets. But there should not be a media exception to who gets back into the gate area at an airport. If I can't greet my family at the gate when they arrive on a flight, some photographer should not be allowed back just because an airline is considering a change to its business model. This probably seems like a strange thing to worry about, but what can I say, I'm picky and principled.
Friday, July 07, 2006
No More
As of 10:25 A.M. this morning, I don't have to ever go to another class again. That's right, today was the last day of class and the last class of my eductational career. Of course there is still the matter of the exam next week and fitting in studying for it for a few brief moments. And who could forget the bar exam is less than three (THREE?) weeks away. And even though the bar examiners have not sent my application back with a letter telling me what a funny joke it was, I still have not been officially OKed to be a member of the bar. So there is still much to accomplish in such a short little time. But I can't help but pause and ponder that fact that my school career is over. Sure, there will be CLE's and other educational things to do, but I have no school left. I mean, I've been doing this since I was in kindergarten, except for a brief stint between undergrand and my MBA program. School has been my life. It's all I know. I'm not sure I'm going to know what to do with myself come August. I'm so used to buying books and getting supplies in order that I may feel lost about the third week of August. But I am also looking forward to no homework, no reading assignments and having my evenings to do as I please. I certainly expect to work hard (should someone ever do something crazy like offer me a job) and know there will still be long days and work brought home. But not EVERY DAY. Not hanging over my head constantly. So I am looking forward to the freedom and the ability to be refreshed and read things at my own pleasure. But I may lapse into confusion when I am not attending classes with everyone else. So if you see me wandering aimlessly around a college campus, just take my hand, guide me somewhere safe and call my wife.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
First week of July
Haven't posted in a while. Needless to say, I've been quite busy. Julie was here this weekdend and it wasn an eventful one. Saturday was July 1, of course. The significance of that date for me is twofold. First, it means I am moving home in less than a month. It's pretty exciting to turn the calendar page and see the date you've circled as an important date on the page. I'm ready to be home for good. Of course, the date has other significance, as well. I don't just have the 30th circled as the day I go home. I also have the 25th and 26th circled for the bar exam. Seeing those circles on the calendar is not so exciting. Rather, I feel a sense of dread. There is no way I'm going to learn it all before then. But I have no choice. Those days are coming like a freight train whether I like it or not!
We celebrated Julie's birthday over several days. Sunday night we went out to eat at the Melting Pot, Monday we watched fireworks on campus and yesterday we went out to Lake Santa fe with a bunch of people from church. That was after the free birthday lunch and more presents at Chick Fil A. Julie ended her birthday with her favorite activity by playing with some three foot sparklers someone brought to the lake. It was a good Independence Day and I think Julie would say it was a good birthday.
Of course, despite my protestations, she drove back to Miami today. Something about work and hiring teachers. I wasn't really paying attention as tried to get her to stay. But the fact of her leaving today also has its own significance. This is the last time she will be leaving Gainesville without me. (I know....awwwww....go get a tissue if you must.) I've got three weeks left before the bar exam. She'll be meeting me in Tampa and coming to Gainesville to help me pack and leave. Though we will have to drive to Miami in separate vehicles, we will be leaving together and closing another chapter in our lives.
We celebrated Julie's birthday over several days. Sunday night we went out to eat at the Melting Pot, Monday we watched fireworks on campus and yesterday we went out to Lake Santa fe with a bunch of people from church. That was after the free birthday lunch and more presents at Chick Fil A. Julie ended her birthday with her favorite activity by playing with some three foot sparklers someone brought to the lake. It was a good Independence Day and I think Julie would say it was a good birthday.
Of course, despite my protestations, she drove back to Miami today. Something about work and hiring teachers. I wasn't really paying attention as tried to get her to stay. But the fact of her leaving today also has its own significance. This is the last time she will be leaving Gainesville without me. (I know....awwwww....go get a tissue if you must.) I've got three weeks left before the bar exam. She'll be meeting me in Tampa and coming to Gainesville to help me pack and leave. Though we will have to drive to Miami in separate vehicles, we will be leaving together and closing another chapter in our lives.
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