Marriage

I recently read an article in the March 2006 GPSolo, which is a publication of the American Bar Association. The article, which you can read here is about sexually transmitted diseases and divorce cases. There were a couple of comments in the article that disturbed me. The author of the article says

In today’s world, where divorce often is the most likely end of a marriage and where people secretly seek outlets outside of marriage to express their sexual identities...

I understand that the author is a divorce attorney and deals with divorcing couples all day long, but I don't understand why he would state that divorce is the most likely end of a marriage. The divorce rate is certainly high, but it has never been more likely than not (50%+ chance) that any given marriage would end in divorce. In fact, the divorce rate has actually been dropping in recent years. You can read all about divorce statistics here.

Setting aside arguments over divorce statistics and their interpretation, what does this kind of comment say about attitudes toward marriage in our country? I think comments like this are a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. It has long been known in the education community that students live up or down to expecations. Students whose teachers expect the students to achieve generally do and those whose teachers have low epectations of their students generally don't do well. Are we predetermining marriage outcomes with thinking exhibited in the article? Have we conditioned people to think that most marriages don't work so that when people hit a rough patch, they don't have the desire to work through it? Have we conditioned people to think, as the author asserts, that it is normal to seek comfort in the arms of another just becuase things don't go as planned?

I am not condeming people who have been through a divorce. I have friends and family who have experienced it and I know it can be painful in individual situations. I understand that some situations are bad and it is better to leave the situation. But, as a society, I think we should be working to encourage people to work on staying together rather than creating an aura of negativity that causes people to abandon their commitments all too easily.

As a future lawyer, it distresses me to see a member of the profession perpetuating this type of thinking. I just hope that as I enter the profession, I can serve my clients well while making a positive contribution to society.